A 40-Year Psychologist on Chronic Pain: Accept Your Body’s Limitations! The Pain Won’t Go Away, but "Small Joys" Can Reduce Its Impact

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Pain follows us like a shadow, so what can be done? Hassan Halili, a psychologist with 40 years of practice in the community, deeply understands the devastating effects of chronic pain. He shares that the key to alleviating pain is actually shifting your attention away from it.

You’ve probably stepped on a LEGO block or stubbed your toe on a hard table leg. “Ouch!” Sometimes, diverting your attention can help you forget the pain, and you may not even notice when it fades away. But sometimes, the pain doesn’t go away. For some, it becomes a daily torment.

An old ointment ad once read, "The heartbreak of psoriasis." What a peculiar phrase, yet this slogan from over 50 years ago still resonates. Perhaps it’s because it captures a universal experience: even small pains can have a strong impact on one’s mental and emotional state.

How to Relieve Chronic Pain

Pain is a signal sent by the body when it is injured. When it persists for a long time, it is called chronic pain, which may be caused by diseases such as back pain, neck pain, diabetic neuropathy, fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, and others.

Chronic pain can lead to a host of symptoms such as fatigue, heart problems, weight imbalance, insomnia, and persistent dull aches. Its impact on mental health is even more severe, including depression, anxiety, hopelessness, helplessness, and low self-esteem.

Moreover, chronic pain patients may become isolated due to the inability to do things they once enjoyed freely.

So, what can be done in such a situation?

In her book Managing Pain before It Manages You, Dr. M.A. Caudill explains the mind-body connection: “Without a doubt, chronic pain is like negative chronic stress, and the impact it has on the mind and body is akin to being stuck in a prolonged fight-or-flight response.”

She suggests using various stress management techniques to relax and relieve pain, including practicing relaxation response methods, reading positive quotes, positive thinking, listening to music, repeating stretching exercises, and imagining a safe space.

Avoid Turning Up the Volume on Pain

Under the influence of chronic pain, physical and social activities decrease while loneliness and feelings of self-defeat increase. To alleviate the pain, I often tell my patients, “Don’t turn up the volume on your pain.”

Some patients complain about how uncomfortable their back pain is, not only telling me but also repeatedly telling themselves. By focusing all their attention on the sensation of pain, they amplify that feeling, and the pain intensity keeps increasing.

So, I explain this mechanism to patients and teach them how to reduce pain. In fact, small joys can truly bring happiness, which is why I always suggest to my patients: constantly recall simple, everyday pleasures and let your body experience feelings of joy. In doing so, pain will no longer dominate your life.

Since minor ailments can’t be cured, why not change the way you see things and turn negative thoughts into positive ones? I used to suffer from stomach issues, and I often had stomach aches. So, I comforted myself by thinking, “At least this way, I won’t overindulge in food and drink!”

Cherish Good Times to Lessen the Negative Effects of Chronic Pain

Hiking is my favorite leisure activity, but carrying an 8-9 kg backpack and hiking for several hours can indeed be exhausting. Last year, I went for a walk with my grandson, Nico. We walked nearly 2 kilometers together. At 3 and a half years old, Nico told me he didn’t want to walk anymore and asked to sit on my shoulders, hoping I could carry him all the way home.

Nico is a sturdy little boy, and that was no easy task. But I told myself, at my age, being able to carry him all the way home is a great blessing! During the walk, I focused on the time we were spending together, rather than magnifying the physical discomfort.

Perhaps chronic pain patients can learn this too: accept your body’s limitations, appreciate what you are still capable of, and cherish the things you can still enjoy.

We can’t make the pain disappear, but we can reduce its impact on our lives. If you look closely enough, you’ll find positive meaning in the things around you.